I think one of the most interesting feelings to deal with and overcome is feeling shortchanged. The feeling that you didn’t get something that you deserved. The feeling that you missed out on something you worked hard to get. The feeling that someone else will reap the benefits of your hard labor. Ultimately, feeling shortchanged is a bittersweet thing. It’s the realization that there is a need but it will be fulfilled in another area, at a later time, in another space. It is a weird relationship between what you know and what you feel.
Feelings of shortchange have the ability to hinder you from progress. They have the potential to tie you to situations, people, mindsets, and pain. They are the unsettled parts of your life. Those moments that you review the reel of your mind to see if there were things that you missed. They are the areas where you question if you have the ability to see because of a blind moment. They are also the moments when you struggle through the pockets of your mind. They are those hard feelings to deal with.
So many times people struggle to get over certain things and they attribute it to their inability to “get over” the thing. But, are we really struggling to get over a thing or are we struggling to reconcile the feelings of being shortchanged? Are we stuttering to gain the language to stabilize in our emotions? Which emotions are those anyway?
I think when you feel shortchanged you are searching for intangible compensation. No apology, or monetary gift will suffice. No shoulda, coulda, woulda will eliminate those feelings because subconsciously you feel that you are owed. You feel that you should receive a return on investment.
But I guess my question is what would that ROI look like? What type of compensation would cover the time spent, miles driven, conversations had, emotions shared? There is no way to calculate the interest on your thought life, the lines of stress on your face, the marks on your mind.
In essence, what are we really looking for?
(Thank you Khirsten and Justin for helping me realize this)