As we end the month of February it is necessary to speak about love. Not the love that is connected to another person, your family, or anything outside of yourself, but within you! It’s amazing how single women, myself included, freakout around February 14th. Yearly, we let people on social media, advertisements, and songs tell us that if we don’t have a significant other then we are insignificant. I’m inclined to disagree.
While there is nothing wrong with desiring love, a spouse, children, and the like, there is an issue when we feel invaluable without them.
Since 2015, I’ve been on a journey to figure out who I am outside of everything I do, my career, the people I know, and the things to which I give my attention. Ultimately, I’ve had some serious time to introspectively check the condition of my inner life, and its not surprising that there were ugly aspects of myself that had gone undetected.
Perhaps, one of the most alarming things that I discovered was the reality that I judged myself based on who was attached to me. Namely, the relationship I was in and the people who liked me. With this in mind, I have to admit that I too was one to hit a slight state of depression in February. But, I didn’t want a day that people “set aside” to express love to dictate my life anymore. Therefore, I decided to learn to love myself everyday.
This means that I came to terms with my shortcomings, my awkwardness, my style, my look, and my destiny. I reconciled the person who I was in my mind with the reality of the woman standing in front of me. I gave myself permission not to be perfect, not to always have it together, and not to be phony. I gave myself permission to live, and it started with learning to love me first.
I want to encourage you to love yourself in spite of the absence of another person. Love yourself until you eliminate those thoughts of insecurity and low self-esteem. Give yourself permission to learn the beauty of who you were created to be. Then and only then, can you rid yourself of lovelessness.