Lethal Loyalty

In theory, I was a ride or die chick. What I mean is that I was loyal to people and situations that could’ve caused death to my life. While physical death may not have been immediately present, spiritual death was certainly apparent.

Being a ride or die chick meant that I was loyal to the people in my circle and would protect their ideas at any cost. I was ready to sell my comfort and life down the river to prove my ability to stand by them. What did being a ride or die chick get me? Nothing.

My loyalty was lethal. In fact, it was so lethal that it left me in bondages that I didn’t realize that I signed up for. I remember when I was a teenager I boasted that I had a loyalty factor that got me into trouble. While this was certainly true, I didn’t see it in a bad way. I didn’t see that loyalty blinded me from the truth of my circumstances.

For me, loyalty allowed me to prove to others that I was worthy of their attention and love. In essence, the root of my loyalty factor was rejection. I wanted to be accepted so badly that I didn’t care who or what I sacrificed for it. My loyalty factor put me in various uncompromising situations that took me years to recover from.

Rarely, if ever, do we count the cost of our actions. I believe we don’t realize that our decisions today leave reverberations throughout the earth long after we’ve made them. Even more, our decisions shift the trajectory of our lives and can leave us viciously gasping for air.

My flawed loyalty prompted me to trade myself in for the approval of others. I put my worth on sale because I thought I had to. I believed that I had no other choice but to succumb to the opinions of others.

I was wrong. I never had to allow my loyalty to become lethal to my destiny. I didn’t have to trade my life for the wellbeing of someone else. I didn’t have to compromise and neither do you.

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