When I first decided to become whole, it started with a book entitled Calling in the One by Katherine Woodward Thomas. I’ll admit that I’ve said I wanted to be whole several times in the past. However, I don’t think I really wanted to be whole, but wanted to stop hurting. There is a difference.
Becoming whole is hurtful in itself. It is outright painful because the process that one must undergo is agonizing. Becoming whole is about growth, sometimes isolation, but more importantly introspection. These three things many avoid because they cause a lot of friction in our lives. However, these three tenants are unavoidable in a successful journey to wholeness and health.
Though the book’s title suggests that in seven weeks you will attract your soulmate, the content reveals something much more meaningful. For seven weeks, I learned that calling in the one meant literally reconnecting with yourself in a delicate and meaningful manner. So many times I’ve attempted to meet my soulmate, at the risk of devaluing myself. More times than not, I hurt myself much more than the other person hurt me.
Through the journey with the book, I’ve learned to reconnect with the neglected parts of myself. The parts that people ridiculed and made fun of because they didn’t understand me. The parts that I hid from myself because they were too painful to remember, or they did not fit with the image of myself that I constructed. Overtime, I lost connection with who I was before all the traumatizing events transpired. How could I unpack years of neglect and bottled up frustration? Who would love the outer shell of a woman who pretended to love selfishly?
Calling in the One was the book that jump started my emotional rollercoaster in a positive way. It allowed me to confront the things that I had forgotten about. It reopened old wounds that healed improperly and tore down the facade that I created. For seven weeks, I had to confront myself. I had to take responsibility in areas that I once blamed others. I realized that I was a participant in my own story, not a victim like I once portrayed. I had to do better if I wanted to get well.
Thomas’s text helped me to see myself in a more open manner. It assisted me in standing in my truth and moving past it. The text helped to free me from emotional dysfunction and self-destruction. There were times that I wanted to stop reading but the inner part of me would not let me quit. I could not give up on myself this time