Self-esteem problems generally happen when we make heinous comparisons between ourselves and other people. It can also happen when we compare our true (inner) selves to the ways that others perceive us. This constant battle between perception and reality is tremulous and it is dangerous.
For example, when you compare yourself to people on instagram, Facebook, other folks in your circle or whomever, you do self-damage. You willingly harm yourself and become a warden in your own imprisonment. You sign the bill of rights to your demise and you bury yourself in a cell underground where no one knows how to find you. Self-Companions are horrible and they have more consequences than we know.
- When you compare yourself you devalue your worth. I hear people say “if I only had my dad around I would be straight like so and so” or “If my mother would have had a decent job, I wouldn’t be so mean.” Unfortunately, they don’t realize while this may be true, it is illogical thinking. Because it is not your reality and you cannot change your past, you compare yourself to people who did have these things but may be struggling in an area that you cannot see. In essence, you internalize that something is horribly wrong with you and because your history is ugly, you cannot be better.
- When you compare yourself you give up on you. Now, this is really unfortunate but its true. You may have the tendency to glorify someone else so much that you make yourself small in your own sight. While it is good to have a support team around you, you have to fuel yourself. You have to undergird yourself into knowing that you are just as good. How can you expect someone not to give up on you when you’ve already walked out the front door?
- When you compare you subconsciously stop wanting to be better. This one is the hardest thing to articulate. While outwardly you may express a desire to be better, internally your actions sing a different song. The conversations you have with yourself when no one is looking and listening. The thoughts you harbor in the margins of your mind. The breaths you take that are filled with toxic emotions. These things matter.
No one in this world is perfect. I know that in the age of social media it is hard to believe, but when looking at the snapshot of someone’s life you do not get the full story.
You should strive to discover new parts of yourself and learn to see the beauty in those areas. You are more than some worthless comparison. Don’t look at other’s promotion, looks or life and covet them. This is a sure way to begin to devalue your life.