Let’s Talk about It: Sex

So I was on Facebook this evening before I prepared for bed and I stumbled across an article that was on someone else’s timeline. The subject was sex and it spoke about what happens to your body when you are abstinent. The premise of the article was to inform readers about the issues of not having sex: less bladder control, depression, and erectile dysfunction. It encourages people who are active to keep up the “good work”  it tells people who are taking break to get back active soon, and those of us who are choosing to abstain until marriage, well too bad.

Now, I try to be silent on things like this because I’m trying to master my thoughts and urges but something was irritated by that post. Here are my thoughts:

  1. While sex is important, it is important in its proper context. In this stream between married couples. Because sex is so powerful and causes such binding between two people it is the only safe way to do it. Now, I’m not talking about being in a “committed” relationship with your boo or booette but married. Tied to someone who cannot just walk away spiritually, legally, financially, emotionally.
  2. The article speaks about bladder control. Come on now, really? Bladder control? Ok, unless something is medically wrong with you, and I mean like from infancy you don’t have an issue with your bladder. Do you urinate all over yourself overtime your bladder fills up? Probably not. Do you get the signal when it is time to release. Probably. Even if you have a problem with your bladder such as light tinkles when you laugh hard, or maybe some medical issue at night, there are fixes for that which are practical.
  3. Depression. Now this was the most appealing to me. It appears that the article is saying that if you don’t have sex you will ONLY be depressed. Well it can be inferred that it is saying this. However, how many times have you had sex outside of marriage and the relationship ended? Were you depressed or even hurt a bit? Maybe. How many sexual encounters did you have that left you feeling some type of way? A couple? How many times have you let yourself down by engaging in sexual activity when you knew better? All of these can ultimately lead to depression as well. What about sexually transmitted diseases? What about potential pregnancy?
  4. Erectile dysfunction. I have no words for this but…stop it.

What people don’t realize is that sex outside of its proper barriers is dangerous and can ruin your life. Think about it, has it ever been hard for you to leave a relationship after you had sex with the person? Have you ever thought that things would turnout differently because you had sex with them? Sometimes we create these imaginations that are exalted in our minds and we allow them to grow until they become reality.

Your body will not hold a man, love. At most, it will be a temporary fix to a long-term issue. When women release their bodies they are looking for permanence. We are not created to be a dumping ground for men’s old outdated toys. You are worth more than that.

Now, I know some people say that they can be “friends with benefits” or people who can have sex “with no strings attached.” Sadly, there is always a string attached and you aren’t really benefitting from your friend. Women, our emotions are inextricably linked to our sexuality, and the problem is that the world has tainted our minds with so many false images that we’ve believed them. However, dysfunction takes on many forms, and as the bible says that sexual sin is the only sin you commit against yourself. You are choosing your reality. When you lay down with a person, you not only release a binding hormone, but you open your spirit to that person. Spiritually, we are making deposits into the soulic realm of another person. Have you ever wondered why your feelings or even emotions are still tied to a person months after the relationship has ended? Well it’s because they’ve made deposits into you and until those deposits are withdrawn you will be tied together.

So you really want to be tied to a person that has seemingly moved on? Someone who you doesn’t seem to be worried about your feelings on social media? I don’t think so, now that can definitely lead to depression.

Choose to live differently and what you’ll learn is that in doing so, your mentality will shift. You aren’t looking for companionship in that man, you are looking to feel a void that sex cannot cover. Don’t be conformed to the world, for its ways will certainly lead to death; but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, presenting your bodies as a living sacrifice unto the lord. I believe that you haven’t really experienced sacrifice until you’ve said no to your sexual desires.

Don’t believe me, try it!


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