Sometimes I can be the master of disguise. I can wear the mask that grins and lies, hides my teeth and shades my eyes. I can put on the front, play the role and hope all will be perceived as well. Generally, it works but sometimes my masking reveals a small crack that gets wider with time. In those moments old wounds begin to surface and the remnants of old pain form as clouds that release the rain.
Whenever things from my past show up and I react to them, in retrospect, I’m always shocked. The pain that I “thought” i dealt with but only truly avoided and stuffed into a bag tightens its grip around my life and squeezes. I’m rarely prepared for these moments and they happen at the most inopportune times. They serve as inconveniences and most of the time I wish they would go away and leave me alone. These moments are baggages that I have to claim.
When you are spiritually aware of yourself then it isn’t easy to run away. You have to sit in your truth and not blame anyone for those wounds anymore. Often times we inflict some of our hurts on ourselves and blame those closest to us for not medicating our dysfunction. In essence, we want permission to stay the way we are, to be less than our best and that is the point where we trade in our ticket to grow.
Old wounds show themselves when we need to heal. Actually they are the first step in healing because you cannot change what you won’t confront. They serve as reminders that you said you would deal with but somehow passing through life you forgot. You have an appointment with your dysfunction, flaws and hurts but you have to be willing to move beyond them. They can make you miss your destiny if you protect and nurture them.