I looked for my identity in your smile. I touched your finger tips in search for the energy that was once drained from eyes. Picked the dandruff off your scalp hoping it would materialize into the wings of doves to carry me off into my destiny. I rode the curve of your breath, picking apart the saliva particles thinking they were rain drops that would puddle together and materialize my vision. Until I discovered that you couldn’t validate me on the level I needed because you couldn’t see past the trees.
I have a constant battle within myself to look for the validation of others. Whether they be professionals, classmates, peers, friends and/or family. I look for their validation because somewhere in my (sub)conscious I don’t believe in myself. There is great danger in this , because if you’re already shaky, someone who doesn’t believe the way you do might have the power to destroy the string of faith you have.
When you are a “Big” person–by big I mean weighty, goal-oriented, morally driven, and even overly compassionate of a person, you might have the tendency to allow others to put you in a box. They will attempt to contain your essence, put you under a rock and flatten your creativity. They will mold you to their expectations and spit in the face of exceptionalism.
Beware of those who don’t encourage you to do better, move better, or live better. Look for their fruit, bind them with their words, and salute their validation as it sails in the boat with their dreams.
Don’t look to the left tor right of you in hopes of someone telling you “good job.” Be who you are and know that your validation comes from the Most High.