Lately, I’ve really been struggling with my actions. No I haven’t been hurting anyone physically, or cussing people out in traffic. I haven’t plotted harm against anyone or called down the wrath of God on anyone. But, I haven’t been completely who I am.
I’m often around people who are only out for self. Sometimes they want the new promotion so they can live larger, they want the boo because they’re bored, and even want the latest fashions to boast on how fly they are. No, No that isn’t me–well not completely anymore. I used to want all those things and there are moments where I still do. However, I’ve noticed that even if I get those things, I probably won’t be fulfilled because there is an inner void.
This morning I was reading in Acts 16:30. Back story: Paul and Silas were jailed because Paul cast out the familiar spirit out of the woman who was used as a medium or fortune-teller. Moreover, they were jailed because the community had lost their means of money since the spirit no longer operated in her. That night, there was an earthquake and the prison doors flew open and the chains fell off. When the guard discovered this, he was about to commit suicide because of their “assumed” escape. Paul then spoke and the jailer asked to be saved. <–Great story right? Here is why it is significant:
The jailer didn’t get saved because he just wanted to, but he got saved because Paul and Silas didn’t escape. This tells me a couple of things. The jailer had to be privy to the works of the disciples. He could’ve been watching them from the distance before he came into contact with them in jail, or he could’ve heard through the grapevine about their works and their God. No matter how he heard of them, he did and their actions of not running away, so greatly influenced him that he wanted to get saved.
Why do I tell this? Well, because I’ve been struggling with my actions. I never know who is watching me. Who needs to see a model to believe that they can go against the dominant culture. It’s interesting that people are always watching, whether they appear to be or not. That scripture shows me that whether I know it or not, my actions could potentially turn someone to God or away from him.
Knowing this, I have to make the conscious decision to live upright, the best way I know how. It’s easier said than done, I know. But think on this, what if someone was attached to the other side of your obedience? What if they were waiting for you to help them, would you turn your back on one in need? Would you tell them to hold on the best way they can so that you can have a little more time doing you? Would you really be that selfish and self-centered to metaphorically spit in their face and offer them a tissue later? Well, friends, this is what we are doing. By living a life that we know is contrary to who we are, we are betraying others as well as ourselves.
Would you take this journey with me?